I'm typing this on 4th October - two days before the 17 year anniversary the loss of Angeloh and 5 days after the anniversary of loosing Angelah. It's my 36th birthday tomorrow and maybe you're thinking that I should just get over it? I can't! Angelah and Angeloh were my only chance of having children and I'll *never* get over it... all the what if's and maybe's and could-have-been's will never happen now! Unless you've lost twins to miscarriage, you'll never understand why I'll never get over my losses! Why I don't have anything to remember them by IRL... no ultrasound picture, no birth announcement cards, no babygrows, nothing! I'll never have paintings or drawings or playdoh stuck in the carpet. I'll never have first day at school, no hopes and dreams for Angelah or Angeloh, no career plans, no reports of their achievements by each of their teachers. No rebellions or groundings or first partners or sex education lessons or parties or sleepovers. No exams or first jobs or first college courses. I'll never have any of those things now!

If you have children or teens... treasure every moment with them, encourage their creativity and take too many photo's 'cos you never know when you'll loose them!