Amanda is writing this on the day before the 23rd anniversary of her twins' due date.

A lot of things have happened in the last twenty-three years... if they'd followed in my footsteps I'd be a grandmother to a pre-schooler by now and I'm only 42! If my grand-children had followed in my footsteps I'd be a great-grandmother by the time I retired and a great-great-grandmother by the time I died lol That's a lot of children I'm missing out on lol

I still miss Angeloh and Angela constantly, but I always find the anniversaries tough going and holidays aren't any easier either.

I can't help wondering what their personalities would have been like and how out-going or shy they would have been. Would they have had lots of relationships before settling down or just a few like me, their dad and step-dad?

What would they have chosen for their careers? Would they have wanted to go to college and university or would they have left school and gone straight into a job? Would they have chosen a creative career or a technology career or an office- based job or medical or legal or work in a shop or something in the caring sector? Would they have been working closely with the public or more like behind-the-scenes?

Would they still be living with me and Steve or would they have their own place? Would it be a house or a flat or a bungalow? Rented or mortgaged? Would they want to live closer to me or their dad or would they have chosen to live somewhere half way between us so that they could see each of us the same? Would they have a driving license and a car each or rely on public transport?

What about their health? Would they be running marathons or struggling to walk 5 metres? Would they have inherited any health issues from me or their dad? Would they have wanted to know a detailed health history and why I'm so short? What caused my disabilities? Would they want a detailed medical history from both of their parents?

So many questions that I'll never know the answers to! :*-(

Got a wonderful reading from a fantastic friend, Danielle, from them on 28th April that says this:
"PS: Your twins are here now! They said they have to tell me to tell you they are so proud of you. The tide is starting to turn in your favour. Things have been hard recently but you will gradually see the light at the end of hte tunnel.

"They also say to make sure you keep writing. You're about to find success. Have you recently wondered whether it's worth sending your work out or even give up writing (I HOPE NOT!)? I may be misinterpreting because I'm getting it clairsentient not clairvoyant or clairaudient. If that's the case then please reconsider. They are trying to guide you and you need to listen. Watch for their signs. If you see an open submissions window within a few hours of it closing, for example, send it in. They want to help you because you can help children around the world. They say not to move to adult books - your skills lie with Middle Grade.

"Not sure if that makes sense but I'll try to get a clairaudient link at least. Then I will not risk misinterpreting what they are saying. They are proud of their Dad too but I can't grasp the link properly ... has he discovered a new skill?"

Knowing that my twins can see me writing and are full of encouragement, I'll definitely keep writing Middle Grade books now... just gotta kick my muse into action first lol